Worst questions you’ve ever been asked in a band interview

Thanks to all my colleagues on Facebook:

• Why do you sing in Welsh?
• Describe your sound
• So from where comes the name Oasis?
• them: “Have you actually heard our record?”
  me: “no but i’ve heard hundreds of records just like it.”
• One I had (in Germany) and actually quite liked was “I am very interested in your music but I find it to be shit…. why is this?”
• Is Candlebox huge influence?
• What’s it like being a man in a band?
• Does your mum know you’re out this late?
• To Damon Albarn: “what’s it like having a girlfriend who’s richer and better-looking than you?”
• Will you marry me…?
• Are these your groupies?
• “Aren’t you just pampered middle class tossers, then?” – to Reef
• Does Eddie Vedder have a girlfriend?
• to jacques dutronc: “how is it to wake up every morning near francoise hardy”?
• What’s it like to be a girl in a band?
• Is the albums artwork, being largely cat-based from what I can make out, a reference to the internet culture of Lolcatz, Tumblr and Facebook?
• ‘Why aren’t you more successful?’ always hurts a little bit.
• How do you find time to write on the road?
• I remember hearing an early eighties New Order interview from Irish local radio where the guy actually asked them “what’s the idea behind your music?”
• cos it was repeated so often ‘What’s it like being a Welsh woman in a rock’n’roll band/ Welsh band/ band/ band with men’. Once was too many times.
• You are such nice people in person, why are so many of your lyrics about poop?
• I once asked St Vincent a follow-up query about whether she’s crossed Malcolm Gladwell’s 10,000 hours marker… I didn’t think she’d spend the next 5 minutes adding up roughly how long she’s spent in the studio and on the road, and refused to let me move on to the next question until she’d finished doing her math. (she was delightful otherwise).
• If I were asleep and you were my alarm clock, how would you wake me?
• “Why doesn’t the singer stand at the front of the photo?” (that may be because “the singer”, a female, is actually the bass player. Yes, she can play an instrument!!)
• “Why do you make so few records, and why do you not promote them properly and why has no one heard of you? Is it because you are lazy? I think you are lazy” – from a German of course.
• the boyfriend question
• What’s your ringtone?
• do you fight over boys and lipstick????
• How you feel about death of Kurt Cobain?
• Where did you get you band name from?
• “What’s your story?” (Same worst first date question.)
• Who are your influences?
• I’m not a muso but anything referencing “the anatomy of” and I just wanna die
• why did you sell out?
• this comes up a lot: “what’s the craziest thing that’s happened during a show/tour?”. zzzz.
• “was…<such and such in the music, like one album being different from the next > intentional?” / “was it a conscious decision to … <use salad tongs instead of drumsticks, or whatever>?” this kind of thing is asked …. maybe 80% of interviews. and it drives me crazy. Does the answer matter?