I listened to them so you don’t have to – 2. Elbow

elbow-2013

Seems like enough people reacted to the first entry in this series that I can justify a second entry.  Subcultural theory 101. The subculture is defined in relation to the dominant (or subdominant) culture.

For example:

It’s far more of a cliché to talk about how much the Doors suck than anything else now.

and

A hack piece! If you’re going to such great effort to deny the brilliance of one of the most original bands of the ’60’s at least choose their best work to slander, instead of singles and tidbits that half the band hated (Morrison most of all!). Not to mention the bands you you compared them to are, for the most part, dull and certainly less relevant even in today’s musical climate. Bowie doing better Jim than Jim? Blow me!

and

Not sure what you were trying to do here ET. When there is so much good stuff out there that NEEDS writing about, why bother with this sort of hatchet job? So you don’t like the Doors. So what.

and

Isn’t this all a bit attention seeking writing? it’s hardly ‘controversial’ to not like the Doors – that’s par for the course for a music writer. Hacks hate the Doors because as someone once said they only like bands that look like music journalists…and that certainly counts Jim Morrison out! When you look at this piece it’s so clichéd but several points are flimsy 1. Pretentious lyrics…all rock lyrics are pretentious when you take them away from the music – from Nirvana to the Ramones to the Fall to Marvin Gaye… the worst crime that Morrison did was claiming he was a poet 2. Jim Morrison was not a nice person – since when was being ‘nice’ important in making music? 3. Interesting you quotes Nick Cave – he’s hardly a saint is he?

and

i dont normaly say on facebook what i wouldnt say to a persons face but the doors were fucking great and your a bunch of dick heads.

With all these comments in mind, I thought I better choose a band not so ‘controversial’ or ‘obvious’ for the second in this series. Elbow. Everyone can tell an arse from their (love for) Elbow. Unassuming (some might say dull) band from Ramsbottom, Bury. Like Genesis, without any of the weird proggy bits, and with faces that you have never seen but want to punch anyway. Fans all bearded because that is how long the guitar solos last. Given to creating joke covers of classic songs (Destiny’s Child, Massive Attack, Amy Winehouse). Prone to standing around with their hands in their pockets, in misguided attempts to seem ‘interesting’ or ‘moody’ or, more likely, cos they don’t have a fucking clue. The Gotye you can not dance to. Gimmick band, whose one gimmick is to take hold of an idiosyncratic and/or soulful original and iron all the idiosyncracies and/or soul out of it so all that is left is a Great Wash of Nothing. Wankers of the highest order, in other words.

So, I listened to their newest album, 2014’s The Take Off and Landing of Everything, so that you don’t have to.

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You seen that episode of Doctor Who featuring the parasitical aliens who disappear from all memory soon as you stop looking at them? That’s what listening to The Take Off and Landing of Everything is like, ‘cept aural. So, shorn of words to write as it is not possible to review nothing, I have decided to share a video with you instead.

Here it is.

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