Morrissey is shit.
There I’ve said it. Happy now? Morrissey is shit. Of course I don’t believe that. Not really. He’s a diarrhoeic stream-of-consciousness-speaking twat whenever he opens his mouth these days of course, he doesn’t think before he opens his big fat mouth… or perhaps he does? Maybe that’s the problem. But back in the day, he was great… wasn’t he? Well no. Never felt that either. A pleasing enough diversion, but I didn’t grow up in midwestern buttfuck USA… I knew of plenty of alternatives already, many of whom weren’t so obviously performing sorrow and integrity and sensitivity the way he did. Nothing wrong with performance of course, not per se – but to me, back then? Fuck yeah there was. Still, The Smiths (and Morrissey solo) released a good couple of songs and several albums of mediocre imitations and approximations of same. So blanket shit, like Chris Martin? Hell no. ‘Course not… unless you happen to believe he is. Hell, I’m not scared of my own taste but I don’t believe you should be either. Got n’owt against him as a performer, really. Puts on a damn good show sometimes. But nowadays? Fuck man. Nothing feels like shit more than someone people once placed their trust in, their belief, and formed their identities via… no one can stand up to that pressure, that spotlight. Imagine being Johnny Rotten for 40 years. Imagine being Morrissey day in and day out, and not being able to switch off. Bad enough still being Everett True. The other day I had a student tell me that she liked whatisthatDailyMailfuckwad’s name – Katie Hopkins cos at least she’s being honest. At least she’s being honest. Here’s the thing: is Katie DailyMailfuckwad being honest or is she being selective? Perhaps she, like us, has to eat Oatibix in the morning…but she doesn’t fucking Tweet about that, does she? Nah. She Tweets shit like “An entire city of monkeys: see no evil, hear no evil, speak no evil. Blind. Deaf. And dumb.” Not about her Oatibix at all. Just the stuff she knows will rile people. She’s a professional twat, a Troll of the First Order, thriving on fear and hatred and everything that is low and scummy about life. A bottom feeder on the bottom feeders. Morrissey isn’t a Troll of the First Order like that… and he’s not as bad as Bono either. Or Bon Iver. But he is still a bit of a twat, isn’t he? Maybe he always was and we just didn’t care (or know) back then. Maybe he’s changed, or our demands upon how he should behave have changed, who knows? He says stuff to provoke, to get people thinking. That’s the defence. (Is it? I don’t know.) What, so you like people thinking what a racist piece of shit you are, Mozzer? Nice. ‘Course you don’t need to defend yourself mate. This is art. All you have to do is call other races “subspecies” when you get upset. Not individuals, mind. Whole races. Claims to love animals, bans all animal products from his shows: Wears leather shoes. So I’m told. (Who knows? I’m sure no expert. I’m down with the alternative reality brigade, just not the alt-right scumbags.) All he does is sing the same melody from the Dominant 5th to the major 3rd of whatever key his songs are in… so I’m told. Behaves like an impoverished rejected outsider when he isn’t. (Is that a crime? Well, it explains Trump.) And he looks like a Tory MP these days. Flag waving ex-pat. Still, he’s got a nice voice, don’t he? Lovely voice. (‘less you don’t like it, of course.) And at least he once tried. Shame The Smiths only ever had about eight good songs. Still. That’s eight more positive contributions to humankind than that fucking DailMailfuckwad has ever managed.
People who have always been shit don’t disappoint. Not in the same way.
Buy the book: Grunge, My Part in its Downfall