Ed Sheeran is shit

Ed Sheeran is shit.

Do not believe the crowd. My Facebook feed is swamped with folk saying stuff like “I don’t want to say Ed Sheeran is shit because it isn’t up to me to tell others how to listen”. Damn straight. It AIN’T up to you to tell others what to like. You so scared of being misconstrued that you can’t even figure out what you like yourself, though? You so scared of being viewed as old or past-it or not down with the teen kids or (shudder, spit) a hipster that you can’t state your own opinions loud and clear, though? ED SHEERAN IS SHIT. He’s a beardy ginge comfort zone for people with low life experience and few expectations, a gorged smug regular money-making machine whose primary concern is not LURVE or FLOWAHS or… wait, why am I even discussing corporate business with you? Ed Sheeran is shit. You don’t need to be beautiful to say this, you don’t need to be lonely. You don’t need to be popular, you don’t need to be a geek. Ed Sheeran is shit. You don’t even need to listen to Ed Sheeran or his new album or the legion of fans to realise this, just read the apologetic commentary from those too afraid to state the fact, the apoplectic commentary from those who think they’re Making A Statement by coming out against him (yes, Campaign for a Return to Dad Rock, I’m looking at you), the fawning uncontrollable commentary from those whose idea of a varied and worldly musical taste means including a Radiohead album on their playlist of Coldplay, Damien Rice, Sam Smith, Adele and (shudder) Ed Sheeran. Look at the way he looks. Not so much a performance as a baby-adult entitlement. Ed Sheeran is shit. How many times do we need to say this before you start listening? Hey, why not start listening? Just cos you’ve only heard a handful of songs does not mean that no alternatives exist in the world. Ed Sheeran is shit. Do not be scared of the crowd. Has it not occurred to you that the crowd can be wrong sometimes? Ed Sheeran is shit. The very idea of listening to his music drives me to extremes of fury that I thought only Trump and Farage could instill in me these days. Ed Sheeran is shit. Scream it from the rooftops and the balustrades. He has no grace, no style, no panache, no star quality. Ed Sheeran is shit. He makes Mumford & Sons sound like a thriving farmer’s market. He makes Coldplay sound like Throbbing Gristle. He puts One Direction into perspective. He is the grey. He is the grey. He is the grey in the middle of grey. His emotion is not. Ed Sheeran is shit. Cancerous shit that spreads and grows and makes it so that the abnormal becomes the normal. Ed Sheeran is shit. He is one more marketing device to sell clothes and beer and department stores, and provide an outlet for… nothing. Shit. Less than nothing. Shit. Lifestyle accoutrement. Shit. An approximation of music that does not even attempt to capture the spark that can make music so special, so magical, so special. The boy next door who should have stayed inside. Cultural appropriation so half-assed you don’t even realise what’s going on (but it is, but it is).

I eat at MacDonalds, very occasionally. I drink coffee at Starbucks. Sometimes. I buy my groceries at Asda. Ed Sheeran is shit. And that shit is everywhere.

Buy the book: Grunge, My Part in its Downfall

Related posts:
Chris Martin is shit
Dave Grohl is shit
Billy Corgan is shit
Bono is shit
Bon Iver is shit
Morrissey is shit
The XX is shit
The Chainsmokers is shit
London Grammar is shit

Advertisements

33 Responses to Ed Sheeran is shit

  1. Anonymous says:

    You’re shit.

  2. Ian B says:

    Ed = the turd that won’t flush.

  3. James says:

    Not only is he shit, but his words sound like he went into mothercare and bought a book called “My First Lyrics”. Add the blatant plagiarism which is rife on every song and he turns from being just shit, to a thieving shit. A shitty thieving, totally lacking in artistry thieving shit cunt shit.
    😊

  4. Don’t care at all about Ed Sheeran but anyone who says someone is shit because they are a “ginge” can GTFO.

  5. The jack o lantern says:

    Youre shit

  6. Alun says:

    Quite funny. So speaks the NME school of music critiquing. On a Monday, the artist is great. By a Friday, they’re shit. The obvious ingredients of being shit include nonentities attacking you as a Musician and an individual, even for having a hair colour that doesn’t suit, for producing music that people actually like and buy, and worst of all, getting rich courtesy of their talent. Yup, Ed Sheeran is shit all the way to the bank and all of the way to the stadiums he keeps filling

  7. […] Related posts: Ed Sheeran is shit […]

  8. rigger67 says:

    Just ignore him : he’ll disappear eventually, they all do ..
    All those boybands, grlpwr groups, modern day crooners, bubblegum artists .. even SuBo.

  9. Anonymous says:

    I think if Everett had just spent a bit more time actually listening to Ed Sheeran’s music, rather than just launching into criticising the guy for not being cool, relevant etc, he would have realised that Ed Sheeran is in fact quite exceptionally fucking shit.

  10. […] posts: Ed Sheeran is shit Chris Martin is shit Dave Grohl is […]

  11. […] You”. Many of the songs released did very well internationally and have been talked about greatly (although he has recently received some harsh criticism himself). “How would you feel” particularly caught my attention because it has a very soothing sound and […]

  12. […] posts: Ed Sheeran is shit Chris Martin is shit Dave Grohl is shit Billy Corgan is […]

  13. […] posts: Ed Sheeran is shit Chris Martin is shit Dave Grohl is shit Billy Corgan is shit Bono is […]

  14. lol it’s not just me that thinks it then.. any time im unfortunate enough to hear his whiney shit voice on the radio it’s a race to change the station asap. 17 songs in the top 50 atm as well? Well at least there’s some comfort that we get them all out of the way now.. when are people going to cop on to this talentless gimp though?

  15. […] Ed Sheeran is shit. He makes Mumford & Sons sound like a thriving farmer’s market. He makes Coldplay sound like Throbbing Gristle. He puts One Direction into perspective. He is the grey. He is the grey. He is the grey in the middle of grey. His emotion is not. Ed Sheeran is shit. Cancerous shit that spreads and grows and makes it so that the abnormal becomes the normal. Ed Sheeran is shit. He is one more marketing device to sell clothes and beer and department stores, and provide an outlet for… nothing. Shit. Less than nothing. Shit. Lifestyle accoutrement. Shit. Ed Sheeran is shit. […]

  16. […] You should see the happiness spread all over her body, from her eyes downward to her feet until it infects the whole room and the house, and everyone in it. (Not her brothers though. Not necessarily. “Why does Lauren like THIS song? ” asks Isaac grumpily, mirroring my speech of only a few week back.) […]

  17. Mat says:

    “..provide an outlet for nothing”

    Spot on. There is no anger, no joy and no passion. Ironically he evokes great passion in me. Passionate hatred. I want a time machine so i can swap him with dimebag exactly one second before he was shot.

  18. […] That’s a whole heap of shit. The top entry has as many hits as the next three put together. 1. Ed Sheeran is shit […]

  19. […] posts: Ed Sheeran is shit Chris Martin is shit Dave Grohl is shit Billy Corgan is shit Bono is shit Bon Iver is shit […]

  20. […] posts: Ed Sheeran is shit Chris Martin is shit Dave Grohl is shit Billy Corgan is shit Bono is shit Bon Iver is shit […]

  21. chinkels says:

    Yes, he is the fucking worst of the worst. The gayest shit. Also, why in the name of all is holy did they have to stick him on GOT? Not only was it completely unnecessary, it was cheesy, slowed down the pace of an otherwise great episode and just fucks with the series in general. It’s now tainted. Fuck this pansy.

    • Anonymous says:

      Dude i know…that scene felt so awkward… terrible scriptwriting…actually most of that episode was shit, i had to laugh out loud at times the writing was so bad. I feel like people want to believe the entertainment stuff thats coming out nowadays is good (music, movies, shows, etc..), but deep within their subconscious they know its garbage, theyre just afraid to admit it

  22. Anonymous says:

    People are amazed by his voice i guess…i’m not impressed, from what ive heard all his songs sound monotone…sounds like shit to me

  23. Anonymous says:

    Isn’t it time you grew up?

    • everetttrue says:

      “Isn’t it time you grew up?” asks someone so lacking in social grace they can’t even use their real name. This my friends is trolling = bullying = cowardice.

  24. […] posts: Ed Sheeran is shit Chris Martin is shit Dave Grohl is shit Billy Corgan is shit Bono is shit Bon Iver is shit […]

  25. […] posts: Ed Sheeran is shit Chris Martin is shit Dave Grohl is shit Billy Corgan is shit Bono is shit Bon Iver is shit […]

  26. Anonymous says:

    I’ve just endured his ironically named ‘Perfect’ song on the equally bad heart fm. Absolute shite.

  27. Anonymous says:

    You know an artist when you hear their songs – for example, you just know that a Bowie song is a Bowie song when you hear it for the first time.

    However, music which has no soul and is unoriginal like Sheeran’s
    sounds like covers of other artist’s songs.

    Evidence for this is in the fact that at least three of his songs are copies (Photograph, that one that is basically “lets get it on” by Gaye, and the clone of All Saints no scrubs).

    He had to pay some millions of pounds for plagiarism already, so quickly tried to avoid this with the All Saints copy “in love with the shape of you” by changing the writing credits of the song to acknowledge All Saints work.

    = FRAUD = POOOOOOPOOOO MUSIC = PERFECT FOR THE ZOMBIES

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s

%d bloggers like this: